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 Post subject: Positive focus and the Facebook phenomenon
PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 11:24 am 
White Lady
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Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2005 4:18 pm
Posts: 13964
Location: Eriksbråten, Skotterud
I just read yet another negative comment on the Facebook phenomenon in a newspaper. Many people think that being active in social media does something strange to your sense of reality. They honestly believe that people are lying to present an artificial and glorified version of themselves in cyberspace, and thus hiding all the grim facts of their lives.

Well. I am sitting here in my bed, with a bad cold. I am coughing my head off, swooning, blowing my nose until it gets really sore, and feeling a bit sorry for myself. Do I think it is interesting for other people? Basically no. If I need sympathy, I call Pelle and ask for a cup of tea. And I will get it.

And I choose to focus on the many positive sides of my life right now, for instance all the good riders and nice people who are here, making progress in their riding and having a good time. Many people who choose to focus differently would perhaps sit in the background and observe all the things that these riders still are not able to do. On all the houskeeping chores that are not yet done because we are many people having a good time, and many of the ones responsible for the chores are ill. Is this interesting for others? No.

I am sick and tired of all the facebook posters telling me that I have a responsibility to find out about other peoples troubles and come to help them, because "it is the silent ones that suffer the most, and need my attention". I do not. Every person is responsible for themselves. Do you need help? Ask someone. That is responsibility. Everything else is pushing guilt onto the rest of the world, which will not help you in the end. That is just continuing a habit of playing the victim and being a child, and you do not want sympathy, you want respect.

To gain respect, you need first to respect yourself. This goes for dealing with horses, and it goes for dealing with people.

In this article I read, the author has withdrawn from Facebook because she had no control over what people write and how they refer to activities that she had been participating in. She thinks people are glorifying their lives and losing a sense of reality.

I would say this is just an example of the difference between a half full bottle and a half empty one. Some people are happy and appreciate what they have, and choose not to worry so much about the negative. This is not losing the sense of reality, it is quite the contrary. We are living in a very privileged society. We have everything we need. We are very, very lucky. Let us continue appreciating it.

Facebook is just a tool. I find it immensely practical for communicating efficiently with many people at a time. If you get addicted or annoyed, there is a problem with you, not with Facebook. Other people say and do whatever they always have done. The only difference is that you may see it, if you choose. If you want to see what people are saying behind your back, I am sure you can. If you want to get envious at all the happy status updates, it is your choice. If you still are sitting there waiting for someone to comfort you after your umpteenth status about your troubles in life, you might still be disappointed.

People do not respond to pointless complaining like that. They respond to honest requests. You have to find out what is wrong, and then ask someone. You are not a child. There is no longer a mother out there in cyberspace who has an instinct for finding out what is behind your mask and cure your pains.

It is every grown up person's responsibility to take basic care of themselves.

And please do me the favour of ignoring people that talk behind your back. Everyone does it. And mostly it is not even with bad intentions.

I find that social media is a reality check. For oneself.

Happy surfing!

Paradox is a pointer telling you to look beyond it. If paradoxes bother you, that betrays your deep desire for absolutes. The relativist treats a paradox merely as interesting, perhaps amusing or even, dreadful thought, educational.

Frank Herbert.

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